Her hurried whispers, were drowned by the toddlers screams, but they were clear as day in the onlookers head. Then it became stick-a-lish and now it is finally licorice (most of the time). A troop of them, round-faced and multilayered, walk to some daycare hidden even farther in the rat’s nest of streets behind me, each clutching a section of a long piece of rope trailed by a grown-up. For my daughter it has advance to ‘mingos but for a long time it was fingernails. “Before I had children I was a nanny for a family in Atlanta. My brother beats that, though. Hahah don’t know where that came from especially since they don’t know how to speak English yet! You would not believe how many people wear blue. I would almost burst trying not to laugh out loud each time. We’ll be in the middle of a store and she’ll see a clock and yell, “Cock, mommy, COCK!” The only one left, I’d fingered him as the murderer. so you got awe shit. Creative Skirt reserves the right to use all submitted photos, here are a few classics from our kiddos and neighbourhood kids ... has been experiencing sexual attraction towards prepubescent children: orphaned male toddlers. My husband and I got the best laugh tonight. My oldest boy can’t say bridge, it always sounds like “b*tch”! LOL! Even the most even-keeled toddlers have their moments, which is why these expressions became popular in the first place. Good luck studying! I’m assuming she is saying them together? While at the zoo recently the tour guide was telling us about antelope, and my 3 year old son looked up at me and asked, “Antelope or Cantaloupe?” Obviously we eat the melon more often than we see the antelope…, my 3 year old daughter calls “boogers” “noogers.” And she calls hello kitty “titty titty!”. A friends child pronounced C3PO from Starwars as CP-Frito for the longest time. Don’t miss the lastest epsiode of the Mommy Shorts Show— it includes Mazzy’s audition for the remake of Fantasy Island among other things. Totally telling the hubs it’s his turn to load the douche waffle tonight and seeing what he comes up with…. So stinking cute. Mliwk = Milk thank you! Sleeping Booty, Snow Wipe, and my personal favorite, “cock” when pointing to a clock tower! I don’t like peanuts—they make me sick!”. Yank-it – jacket 0 Reply. Every time Harlow points to the baboon and screams, “Ba-BOOM! My nephew could not say the ‘st’ sounds so he said a ‘d’ instead so we would hear: When my 2 yr old was a little younger, he would just point at the TV when he wanted to watch. Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! Funny, thanks for the early morning laugh. Noodles = Noonals I will be using it from now on and making sure my 5yr old daughter has it in her regular vocabulary. Especially if they like penis butter spread on their panty cakes. Tittle! Yes, we too get ‘cock’ shouted very loudly every time a clock is seen by my little boy! It's music by kids for kids, with youngsters churning out "family friendly" versions of today's biggest pop hits. Lol. *sigh*. Thank you for getting Trace’s in there. Miss A asked: I love love love it! Thanks for the giggle! Photos of youths butchered by suspected herdsmen in Plateau State ... Buhari govt has been complicit in words Like this! My son used to call basketball poop ball aka hoop ball. 6-yr-old also says “calcucator” for “calculator”, and used to say my favorite – “hang-guh-burger” for hamburger. One of the most popular words in Spanish is “ hola ” which means “ hi ” or “ hello ”. I LOL’ed so hard at “dumb fuck”. !” when he’s excited to see a dump truck? Your email address will not be published. My 2 y/o calls the computer a “pin-qu-ter” He is actually really good with pronunciation which makes it a little more fun for us to hear him get it wrong. One morning I said to my daughter; your britches are too big. I would particularly recommend the very trilogy that was so badly butchered by this monstrosity (Jedi Academy, by Kevin Anderson), The Courtship of Princess Leia, or the Heir to the Empire Trilogy. (You can find them here and here and here.) Gwingwin (penguin took me 4 weeks to work that one out) I mean, kitties. I have two girls so we had a lot of silly words. Mom Ilana, who runs the blog Mommy Shorts, asked her readers for words their kids have butchered … When my daughter was 3, she would call a fork a “fuck”. What’s so funny??”. Licorlish and Zebeggi are totally the cutest things I heard (well, read) all day. You can also use the following Spanish expressions: Buenos días — Good morning I do love titties. My oldest, then about 3, informed her daddy as he was getting her ready for bed one night that she had a nig–r as she pointed to a freckle. These ALWAYS crack me up and yes, toddler speak is too cute to correct! Whore! Whenever my 2 year old wants a Capri Sun, she asks for a douche bag. I wish I had seen your post from Monday earlier and added some of our son’s favorites. My son used to say “i Fuck it in the mouth” he meant to say ” i farted in my mouth” which was his way of explaining a burp. So stinking cute. Cocks = socks. My 2 yr old also says dick-oo-lous for ridiculous. Here are 17 changed Kidz Bop lyrics that are just downright awful. Yogurk (yogurt) I used to call mayonnaise “man eggs”. This post will be updated if I come across another creature or entity that is not yet included in this list. My husband responded, “We’ll tell you when you get older!” Who knew Siri would chide people for swearing? I love all those little mis-said words, they make my heart happy. lol, As my three year old would say, “wank you! I love firefucks!” What is this?” (Meaning the wet pants) My brother looked her dead in the eye and said “My peanuts and my popsicles!” Kangaroo, computer, restaurant, ambulance, dracula. . Another good one is flamingos. Ass-ream – ice cream Great list! remote control= mote in a troll, Your email address will not be published. My daughter says dickdickulous for ridiculous. LMAO! Out to dinner the other night my 2 year old picked the wine cork up of the table and starte yelling as only toddlers do, “Cock, Cock!” Of course in a small quiet restaurant. My mom, two older sisters, all butchered by Ben. How Language Develops • Overextension • Dada may mean all men • Underextension • Use a word too narrowly • Boy may mean only boys his age • Telegraphic speech 85. Even when he’s not around. My husband keeps on trying to correct her, but I think it’s too cute to correct! . My 2 yrs old asks for us to “TITLE” her all the time. Kinda hard when you’re in a very quiet office!! So he says he wants to “go outside and play with his cock”. I think it’s hilarious as well. I hope it’s filled with BOOBIE MANCAKES! For more, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. We have a pool, and they call the chemicals, “kekminals” I’m trying so hard not to LOL at the post and comments so I don’t get in trouble at work!!! Bernd Brandes, a German engineer from Berlin, was willingly slaughtered so that he could be butchered and eaten by cannibal Armin Meiwes. “Mama? We have “mingo” and “printzels” at our house instead of mango and pretzels. We thought it was so cute we had a hard time correcting her! Doritos – Burritos . The rest are more a miss use of a word, he’ll push his shoe’s & socks off, tell you to ‘go on’ instead of ‘come on’ (when your supposed to follow him) About 2 weeks before his 1st b-day, he was going around saying “disenerations” it took me about 1 week to figure out what he was saying…”christmas decorations” as he was pointing at the tree. My oldest called his stuffed duck his “fucky.” Not as cute and made for many awkward moments in public. 6 Dislike this! And my daughter yells die on the top of her lungs whenever she says bye. Sometimes this is hard because it’s not always in an easy spot but maybe it would help? my 22 month old is saying two words I have quite deciphered yet but they sound exactly like “dick” and C U Next Tuesday – not sure if I should type that. She usually speaks clearly but also calls a mirror a “moo.” My almost-6-yr-old calls it a “murr,” which I think is an artifact of their growing up in Philly. extrasizie = exercise. “Oh, you mean HORROR!”. Sebastian has always been really good about pronouncing words the correct way, even the famous one that supposedly all kids butcher: “spaghetti.” However, he does call elevators “alligators.” How funny that he isn’t the only one! Bedtime Songs 11-Button Song Book Toddlers and preschoolers can sing along with the classic bedtime melodies in this charming songbook. My son calls coffee cockie. (stick) My 4 year old loves Golden Delicious apples, but he calls them “Golden Yummies”. Sometimes, replacing those dirty lyrics doesn't always work that well. My Man’s last name is Fox, as is the last name of our kids. 1) this isn’t a word we use 2) it’s the word tits. She also had her own version of America the Beautiful wherein “God Spread His Grease on Me”. This is too funny. !”, im guessing similiar to AWE- Sauge but sauge got garbled? She meant the sewing kit. 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When It’s Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Disappointment is the Worst Possible Smell. One of my nephews once explained to his mom that, “Boys have penises. Sausage said by a toddler is translated into Awe Sh!t! 2 The Ritual. When I was a child, I did the same thing. My son hasn’t had any funny mispronunciations but he does love to grab my boob and yell “bra!! My daughters was Calipidder for Catapillar. Required fields are marked *. I couldn’t understand why her favorite animal at the zoo was the fingernails or why Grandma loooooved fingernails so much! The only one left, I’d fingered him as the murderer. “Mommy let’s go hide in the f*ck!”. I started watching my language after that! And my 8 year old love the song Uptown Funk People always laugh when she yells “Cock shit”. My daughter confuses the words for flood and puddle, and calls both “fluddles”. I really never ever want to correct her. Like this post? Can we go da ass-capaders to gedda frink frum the ass-ream fruck? My son, who loves pork n’ beans, was so excited when he saw the beans on his plate that he began screaming “Fuckin beans, fuckin beans!” Needless to say, everyone turned to look at the 2 year old cursing in church. “Mommy, I want porn!I love porn! Still smirking at douche waffle though. My two year old calls puddles “cuddles”, often asking to jump in the cuddles. Please don’t forget a fort is a f*ck. Both my daughter and son have said: Not too long after that someone cut my mom off in traffic and the same nephew chimed in with “Play chicken, Granna.” We were pretty sure he didn’t understand the concept of playing chicken while driving so we turned again to his brother who explained what he meant was “Pay attention, Granna.”, I should have sent one in! Mh daughter used to call suckers/lollipops “suck its.” Initially we didn’t correct her, but when she started throwing tantrums in public saying, “I wanna suck it, I wanna sucker,” it became quite an embarrassment… Especially when my husband was alone with her and she’s say, “but you always let me have a suck it.” Thankfully she says the right word now! Honestly isn’t it the better name? In September 2012, a Brooklyn infant died after contracting the herpes simplex virus type 1 following an Orthodox Jewish circumcision ritual called metzitzah b’peh.In this ritual, which takes place under the ceremony known as the bris, the rabbi circumcises the infant and then places his mouth on the penis in order to draw blood away from the incision. LOL!! Thanks for including that, it made me smile when I saw it :). Antonia Hoyle was left shell-shocked when her family managed to hatch 14 chicks from quail eggs they had purchased from Marks & Spencer last month as part of a lockdown experiment. !”, My friend’s toddler dropped his fruit cocktail. Sleeping Beauty = Beeping Slooty ?” Her & her sister were outside drawing on the sidewalk… with CHALK! 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When It’s Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, 22 More Words Totally Butchered by Toddlers, a picture of Mazzy greeting everyone from her homeland, Chocolate Too Good To Give Out On Halloween, You Too Can Lie About Being a Perfect Mom, Mazzy Celebrates Her 5th Birthday with a Frozen Disco Party (Obviously), http://www.streamdoubletrouble.com/2013/06/17/lost-in-translation/. I could NOT figure out what he was trying to tell me, and he kept repeating it ” mommy! Now I’m the crazy lady who laughs at her phone in Starbucks. The list could go on and on, but my favorites are: In the middle of Starbucks. . “Crossing the b*tch, mommy!” Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? My daughter used to call the rocking chair “rocky-boo,” and my sister was “Ah-Kiki” (Aunt Katy). These are so funny!!! All I can think of is the game Duck Hunt lol. The kids keep on cussing. Creative Skirt reserves the right to use all submitted photos, My daughter Mya has a few that make me chuckle! Surprise = Cu-prise On Monday, I wrote a post called "Maffles are Melicious" about loving the words Mazzy mispronounces. Quick (drink) So “soap” becomes “pope” and “soup” becomes “poop”. Unfortunately, in his toddler speak, he would end up shouting across the grocery store for “good sex mommy?”, much to my sister’s chagrin and other shoppers’ amusement / bewilderment. (Cause my name is Bernard still. Fruit pouch = POOHOSE Uptown fuck you up = Uptown funk. If you say both out loud, you can hear the similarity. Ex-ca-daver for excavator fumb = thumb When I was little I would say that my dad worked in a “hahsiboo” (hospital). And various others that make me smile down deep in my heart when I hear them. My youngest used to call his comforter a comfortable. She also started calling elevators “alligators” this week. My almost-4-yr-old calls her toothpaste “Kids Crust” (Kids Crest). Bubba and Daddy have a penis, and baby Asher has a “jina”. Love these. Maybe I’ll do a follow-up. & a yee you (I see you) 23 Hilariously Mispronounced Words By Toddlers "Oh, 'duck'! my four year old still calls the trampoline a “jumpoline” and a truck was a “fuck” And both of my kids called a Refrigerator a “Fridge-a-later”. Love it. (It’s a lot cuter than it sounds.). Especially about things they can’t control, like the name they were given by their parents.. Bwahahahahahaha at Mickey Mouse Crackhouse. One mom said her daughter says “awe shit” instead of “sausage”. As always, the real words are pictured with the mispronunciation written in white. You can imagine how often I heard, “Mama, mama, my C_oc fell off!”, My daughter (3.5) says I’m hungry but it sounds like I’m horny…… My friend’s daughter says callipitter instead of caterpillar. Here are a couple Like the movies Daddy likes to watch!” Dead silence increases and panic starts to set in. My almost-3-year old calls Mickey Mouse Clubhouse “Mickey Mouse Crackhouse.” We also eat at “restanauts” and he calls Chick-Fil-A “Chick Away.” Love all of these…, Haha I love this. My now three year old used to refer to licorice as dick-a-lish. Amy Johnson – Indiana Jones NURSERY worker Vanessa George — the UK’s worst female paedophile — could be free within days. Considering we don’t say that word in this household and to me the two sound nothing alike, I have no idea why she called it that. YOUR CHILDREN DID. Alex used to tell us to watch out for “Alligators and Crocidaydles” He was very adamant about it. Cock!! Armadillo was turned into armadildo by my then 26 month old. He had been helping me pull out old missed carrots from a garden bed. I think I’ll actually miss when my guys start saying things correctly. My son used to say ‘baby soup’ for bathing suit also. There you have it. My son used to call goldfish crackers BULLSHIT. That’s the Kellogs breakfast cereal RICE KRISPIES… not sure if they’re in the US. My older sister (now in her 40s) was asked by our grandfather what she wanted for her 4th birthday. lol. I have the biggest dick (stick) on the whole street!”. My current favorite, which he’s starting to grow out of :(, is Bike-a-doo for bicycle. ” You know – the movies that are scary for me!” Hubby and I break into peals of laughter ( after huge sighs of relief!) So many readers commented both under the post and on my fanpage with stories about the funny words their kids say incorrectly that I had to do something with them. On Monday, I wrote a post called “Maffles are Melicious” about loving the words Mazzy mispronounces. Great job. Love this post and I can relate! Yay for Ambulions! PS This had me laughing so hard that Demon Toddler patted me on the back and asked me why I was crying! Fuffins = muffins (we still call them fuffins) Here’s a warning not to let your child play with Siri on your iPhone! This was hilarious as were the additional comments above. I have a couple blush-inducing mispronounciations to add courtesy my little girl: Which basically translates to getting rid of any sexual overtones in the songs. Cock!!”. Visit www.livinglanguage.com for a lyric sheet so that parents can join in, too! Teleeve = TV We never make them, and he abhors beans anyway so he wouldn’t want them if we did. !” in public! These are great! My oldest child (now 25) was born on Christmas Day. It sounded like a mad cat about to be butchered, the cries growing louder and more desperate by each second, until the sound was bouncing off the walls of his cave-room and ringing in his skull. old • 50 words • 2 yr. old • 200 words 84. I can attest to the “Douche” for juice one. I refuse to correct him, its too cute! I almost spit my coffee out onto my computer screen, I’m tickled that “strawbabies” made the list! Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! The above was said in the middle of a crowded department store when one of my boys heard what he thought was an ice cream truck. They are all so cute! I dropped my cock fruittail!”. Me and my sisters used to tell my dad to “pull up his plants” instead of “pants” when he would bend over and we would see his butt crack. Recently he came running into the kitchen saying “memis, memis, memis!” And pointing at his mouth. 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